While you were sleeping
# SCENE 1
Okay, there are two things I remember about my childhood.
I just don't remember it being this orange.
First, I remember being with my dad.
He would get these far-off looks in his eye, and he would say,
"Life doesn't always turn out the way you plan."
I just wish I'd realized at the time he was talking about my life.
But that never stopped us from taking our adventures together.
He would pack up our sometimes-working car and he would tell me amazing
stories about strange and exotic lands as we headed off to exciting destinations like..Milwaukee.
It's amazing how exotic Wisconsin isn't.
But my favorite memories were the stories that he would tell me about my mom.
He would take me to the church where they got married,
and I'd beg him to tell me more about the ceremony and about my crazy Uncle
Irwin who fell asleep in the macaroni and cheese.
And I asked my dad, when he knew that he truly loved my mom.
And he said to me, "Lucy, your mother gave me a special gift.
She gave me the world."
Actually it was a globe with a light in it.
But for the romantic that he was, it might as well have been the world.
Well, the first time I saw him, he didn't exactly give me the world.
It was a dollar-fifty for a train token. Uh, but I-I looked forward to it every single day
He started coming to my booth between eight-oh-one and eight fifteen every
morning Monday through Friday, and he was just perfect My prince Charming.
Well, we've, we've never actually spoken. But I know someday we will. I know it.
I just know it. And I know that someday I will find a way to introduce myself.
And and then that's gonna be perfect. Just like my prince.
Forty-five dollars for a Christmas tree and they don't deliver?
You order ten dollars worth of chow mein from Mr. Wong's they bring it to your door.
Ooh, I should've gotten the blue spruce. They're lighter.
Aaah! Ooh.
Lucy!
Eee.
Nature of claim?
Christmas tree through window.
Ho-how am I gonna put that on my insurance?
They're still pissed about the fire we had when Joe Junior barbecued in the stairwell.
I missed that one.
Oh, great sausage.
Look, I... I'll pay for this.
That's okay, Lucy.
My brother Julie's in the glass business.
Oh, I almost forgot.
Merry Christmas.
Ah, Lucy. Yo-you didn't have to do that.
Well, I wanted to.
I haven't even gotten to my shopping yet.
Hey Pop? Can I give that bottle of Blue Nun you got from Cousin Ornella to
my probation officer?
Do you see we got some company? Say hello.
Hello, Luce. Nice....
uh sweater.
Thank you.
It's over there.
Lucy, you're a nice girl.
Joe Junior's still single.
Yeah, it's a shocker.
What'll you have?
Oh, the usual.
What's that?
Mustard. Coke.
Lucy? Lucy, Lucy, Lucy.
Hi, Jerry.
I'm glad to find you here.
I was hoping you'd find me in Bermuda.
Bermuda. Oh, that's good.
I am recommending you for Employee of the Month.
The usual.
Really? I didn't know there was an Employee of the Month.
Oh-ooh, yeah.
"supervisor Jerry Wallace nominates Lucy Moderatz for Employee of the Month."
"Lucy is never tardy, always works holidays even if she has worked the previous holiday."
Just because she worked Thanksgiving, Lucy is willing to work Christmas, too?"
Jerry. I'm not working Christmas.
I... You'll get a nice plaque with the mayor's stamp on it.
I didn't vote.
You get to ride on a float Saint Patty's Day.
I hate parades.
Did I mention extra holiday pay?
I hate you.
Lucy. Look, Arlette is sick and Celeste can't switch because she's got some big
family thing. And I promised my kids I'd be there for'em this year.
This stinks, Jerry.
I know it isn't fair and I can't make you do it.
But, Lucy, you're the only one... without family.
# SCENE 2
Merry Christmas.
Uh-huh...
Nice coat. Merry Christmas to you, too. You're beautiful.
Will you marry me?
I love you.
Nice coat.
Oh! Oh, no!
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Somebody help me, please! Sir? Sir? Sir? Are you okay?
Can, can you get up?
God, sir, this is not good.
Oh, God mister, um.....
Can you... Are you breathing?
Oh, God, you smell good.
Please wake up. Please, please. God.
Can you wake up?
Can you hear me? um....
Um... oh God!
Wake up, somebody help me please.
Can... Can... Mister?
Mister, there's a train coming.
And it's fast! It's an express!
Oh, God.
Hi.
Oh, God.
I need a doctor.
Okay.
Doctor Stevens, Doctor Jessica Stevens.
Hi. Um, excuse me, about two seconds ago, a guy, a man was brought in....
All right, what's his name?
I do..., I don't know it.
I need to know his name.
Oh, God. He's right, he's right there.
You don't know his name?
Why don't you let... Okay.
No, no, you can't go in there.
Ho-Ho... You can't go in there.
No, no, y-you don't understand.
No. Are you family?
No.
Family only.
No, you don't understand.
'Cause I was..... You...wait there.
Okay, guy, what do we got here?
Oh, I was gonna marry him.
Come on. Come with me.
Over here. This way.
Let him hear your voice, honey.
Okay.
Hi. Um... everything's gonna be okay.
I know it. It's gonna be fine.
Excuse me.
Yeah?
Is that the woman that saved his life?
Yeah.
Whoa.
If gets even better than that.
She's his fiancee.
Excuse me, ma'am. I'm sorry, but I need to ask you a few questions?
O-okay.
Officer, may I interrupt you?
Oh, sure. Um, I'll be right over there.
Thank you, thank you. I'm Doctor Rubin.
Hi, I'm...Lucy. -Lucy
Don't tell me about passes.
Where the hell is he?
Oh, my God.
What is this?
This is my son. How is he?
Oh, how depressing
You can't come bursting into this unit.
He'll be all right, right?
Right?
What happened? What's going on?
He's in a coma.
On Christmas Day?!
Jesus.
His vital signs are strong. His brain waves are good. I think he's gonna get through this.
Are you a specialist?
How did this happen?
Um, he was pushed from the platform at the train station.
Who's she?
She's his fiancee.
His fiancee?
Yeah.
Peter's fiancee?
Yeah. I thought....
No, he w... he wa... No, no, you don't, y-you don't understand. I'm....
Maybe he was busy?
Oh, too busy to tell his own mother he's getting married?
All right. Don't yell at him.
I'm not yelling at him!
Uh, i-if only Jack were here.
He'd know what to do.
Is she okay?
She's got a little heart problem, you know? She's had three attacks already.
They weren't attacks.
They were episodes.
Nothin'wrong with her hearing.
Excuse me.
Doctor, what is she doing in here?
Hey, buddy, she saved his life.
You saved his life?
Well, yeah, yeah, but I, uh, I thought he was pushed off a train platform.
She jumped on the tracks.
You jumped on the tracks?
Yeah.
Doctor it's supposed to be family only.
She is family.
She's the fiancee, you idiot.
Okay, look, I'm, I'm sorry.
You, you, you...you really don't understand, but.....
You know, I'm awfully sorry because, you know, we really, we, we haven't seen him for
a long time, so we didn't know.
I always wanted him to find a nice girl. I'm so glad he found you.
Oh, Peter.
Wh-why did you say that?
Say what?
I'm not his fiancee.
Why did you tell me that you were?
I'm not engaged. I've never even spoken to the guy.
What?! Well, do-, downstairs, you said, you said you were gonna marry him.
Oh, geez, I was talking to myself.
Well, next time you talk to yourself, tell yourself you're single and end the conversation.
What am I gonna do?
I don't know.
she held me so tight that, you know, I couldn't, I couldn't tell her.
I know. I know.
Excuse me. Nurse, is there a pharmacy in the hospital?
Uh, wh-what do you need?
Elsie. She wants, uh, nitroglycerine.
Oh, for her heart problem?
Problem? Problems.
You know somethin'?
I think you saved her life.
In fact I think you saved the whole family.
Bless you. Huh?
Why don't you come with me?
I'll take you down there.
So, tell us how you met Peter.
Ma, she doesn't wanna talk about that now, okay?
Why not?
We could all use a nice story.
How do you know it was nice?
Of course it was nice. Why shouldn't it be nice?
What about that other girl?
What's her name? The one he met in the bar.
Well, what's that got to do with the price of eggs?
Ashley Bartlett Bacon.
Ox.
All I know is she was pretty high and mighty for someone named after breakfast meat.
Well, he has a nice girl now.
So, did you steal him from Ashley?
I bet it was love at first sight. Right? I have a sense about these things.
Elsie, let her tell it.
She is telling it.
I bet that he picked you up in that fancy car of his.
What was it about him that, you know, first struck you?
It was his, uh, smile.
They're caps. Six hundred bucks a tooth.
Shh!
Well, um, we saw each other and, um, he ps-, uh, smiled. And I knew that my life
would never be the same.
So....
Tomorrow night, eight o'clock.
What?
I got Ice Capades. I know a guy.
# SCENE 3
Hi.
Um...bet you're wondering what I'm doing here in the middle of the night, huh?
Well, I, I thought I should introduce myself. My name's Lucy.
Lucy Eleanor Moderatz. Um, I think you should know your family thinks we're engaged.
Never been engaged before.
This is all very sudden for me.
Um...what, but what I really came here, uh, to tell you was that, um...
I didn't I didn't mean for this to happen.
I, I don't know what to do. I mean, if, if...you were awake, I-I wouldn't be in this mess.
Oh god, not that I'm blaming you. sorry.
It's just that, you know, when I was, when I was a kid, I always imagined what I would
be like, or where I would be, or what I would have when I got older.
And you know, it was the normal stuff.
You know. I'd have a house and family and things like that.
Mm. Not, you know, not that I'm complaining or anything cause I, you know, I have,
I have, I have a cat, have an apartment, um, sole possession of the remote control...
that's very important...
It's just I never met anybody that I could laugh with.
You know?
Do...do you believe in love at first sight?
Nah, I bet you don't. You're probably too sensible for that.
Or have you ever, like, seen somebody and you knew that if only that person really
knew you, they would... Well, they would, of course, dump the perfect model that they
were with and, and realize that you were the one that they wanted to just grow old with.
Have you ever fallen in love somebody you haven't even talked to?
You ever been so alone you spend the night confusing a man in a coma?
Bye.
# SCENE 4
Lucy!
Hi!
We didn't know you were here.
Hi. Hi. Hi.
Were you here all night?
Yeah. Yeah.
You're like me.
I could always sleep anywhere.
And believe me, she has.
Way to go, Gram.
So, how's Peter?
Oh, well, he's got more color.
He has some color. Looks like he has some color.
Yeah. Well, I-I have to go.
So, it was great to see you guys again.
We didn't get to, uh, celebrate Christmas.
So, uh, it would be nice if you could join us.
Oh, um.... Oh, I-I-I would love to, but I-I can't....
Jack's gonna be there.
That's right, you haven't met Jack yet.
No, not yet.
Oh he'll be so happy to meet you.
So, you'll come tonight?
I-I-I really shouldn't because I have to work. I can't.
Well, look, here. Put your phone number and address down there.
Midge'll call you and talk you into it.
Okay.
And here's another card for when you change your mind.
Uh,we're in the estate furniture business. We buy furniture from dead people.
Okay. All right, well, I have, I have it. So, bye.
Bye, dear.
Bye.
See you later.
Ma'am?
Excuse me, ma'am.
What, what is this?
I'm sorry, Mrs. Callaghan?
These are your husband's things.
Oh, he's not my husband!
I'm sorry, um, your fiance.
Uh, you're Peter's fiancee?
Okay.
Dalton Clarke. Colleague of Peter's at Lubel, Parker, Jacobs and Fink.
Mm, I have to...go now.
Oh, he's a, he's a great guy.
He's had a tough year.
You know, well, with the accident last month and all.
Mm. Accident?
Well, of course it was an accident. I mean, it wasn't my......
Did he tell you it was my fault?
Were playin'basketball, all right? I carry a pencil, I'm a lawyer, I do that!
All right, okay.
Jesus. What's he telling....
It's gonna be okay.
So, what's the big deal?
"What's the big deal?" Jerry, they think I'm their future daughter-in-law.
And the grandmother, they, she's got this heart thing. And if I tell her the truth,
she's gonna have a heart attack and she's gonna die, and it's gonna be on my head.
Well, then go along with it.
And when Peter comes out of the coma, the family'll be so happy they won't care that
you lied to them.
They'll probably even thank you for it.
Just mustard!
Okay, what if he doesn't come out of his coma?
Well, then who's to know?
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Ah, look, look, Lucy when my mother found out I was getting married to my wife,
her intestines exploded. Now, you tell them now and you might as well shoot Grandma.
Oh.
Come on, Mel. Mel?
What am I doing?
Lucy!
Hi.... Saul. Hi.
You made it, huh?
Yeah.
Aah.
How do you feel?
Okay, Okay.
Come on, keep me company for a while. I don't like to smoke in the house.
Okay.
Listen.... You want one?
Ah, I'm tryin' to quit.
That's good. Here sit down.
They don't bother you, do they?
Um, no, no, I'm fine.
Did you know that I was Peter's Godfather?
Really I-I thought you had to be Catholic for that.
Ox fudged it over.
Oh.
He donated fifty folding chairs to Father Shea's bingo night.
You know, bein'a Godfather is very important to Catholic.
It means you're practically part of the family.
Well, I You're lucky.
It's really important to have family around this time of year.
Are you, uh.... I mean, are your parents with you?
No, no, my, my mom died when I was really young. And a couple of years ago.
my dad got sick, and, uh, we moved from indiana to Chicago so he could go to a research hospital.
Research. A medical term for "very expensive." huh?
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly. I-I-I ha-, I had to quit school. And I started working for the C.T.A.
and, um, about a year ago, he decided he had a enough research and ,uh, he passed away.
My wife of fifty-one years passed away two years ago February the ninth.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, it was a rough time for me.
Yeah.
But... Ox got me through.
You're good friends?
The best.
Hm.
Lucy, the Callaghans, well, they took me in as part of their family.
I'd never let anyone hurt them.
Neither would I.
I believe you wouldn't.
Lucy? You came?!
Hi, Saul. Oh, this is great!
Hey, come on in, you two.
It's freezin' out here. Elsie made her eggnog.
Word to the wise. Drink soda.
Okay.
Ox Mom, look who's here.
Lucy came.
Hi. Hi, Mary.
That's peter on the right.
Oh, he's so sweet.
Oh, yeah, the squirrels.
Eggnog, everyone.
Ma, where are you? I'm serving your eggnog.
I'm getting my camera.
Come on, everybody get close to the tree.
All together for pictures.
Lucy, come on.
Come on, Lucy.
Let's go, let's go.
Ar..,I re.., I really, I......
Watch the birdie!
Oh, Ma, take it again. I blinked.
Well, you're lucky. I'm blind.
Oh, yeah, I love it.
Oh excuse me, Elsie.
I don't drink anymore
Tch. O-oh.
I don't drink any less either.
O-o-h-h, Ma.
Aah, you got me with that one.
Oh, look at this.
Ooh, more presents. Okay, I'll take these two.
What is this?
Open it.
Oh.
What is that?
Turn'em over.
Pierced?
Um-hm.
Really?
Oh, my God, thank you!
Thank you, ma!
Thank you.
Don't thank me. If it was up to me, I would've gotten you a Barbie.
Oh, it isn't like that. Ooh isn't that wonderful?
We hit the jackpot.
Mom, this is for you.
Thanks, dear.
Oh, "To Ox, from Uncle Al."
Who the hell is Uncle Al?
Uncle Al, you know, Uncle Al from Buffalo.
To Lucy, from Santa.
Seven bowties,
Oh, the gold watch!! I love it!
Oh, sweetheart, it's so expensive.
Oh Gram, these are so great.
thank you.
I never really got him anything.
Yes.
I know an Uncle Ed.
This is Callaghan. Leave a message and I'll get back to you. Ciao.
Hi, it's Ashley. Ah, Lisbon is absolutely gorgeous, but I'm cutting my trip short because
I have been doing a lot of thinking and...what the hey?
I will marry you.
Jack!
Hey, buddy!
Shhh, Jack. Don't wake Lucy.
Who's... Who... Who's Lucy?
Lucy's Peter's fiancee.
No, that's not Peter's fiancee.
You haven't met her?
No.
Well, she's great. You're gonna love her.
Hm.
Hey, you know what, kid?
Maybe I'll stay the night.
Don't eat my cereal in the morning.
Well, listen, it's very special cereal.
Last time you took the toy, surprise, remember?
# SCENE 5
Good morning.
Oh, God. Oh. Oh, you scared me.
I'm sorry.
Um good morning, Jack.
Um, I guess I don't remember meeting you.
Well, it's probably because we've never met.
That might have something to do with it.
Ooh, cab. I have to go. I'm really, I'm really late... 'cause I have to...go.
But, um, I, it was nice to meet you, uh, Jack.
So...bye.
Lucy.
Okay, look, I, I know that I, um...
Hey. Hm?
Welcome to the family.
Oh, thank you.
Bye.
We pray that the Lord's healing presence will be felt by those who are sick,
and by their families.
Especially Jo-Jo Goreki, Peter Callaghan, Craig Little and Peggy Dunne.
We pray to the Lord Lord, hear our pray.
Oh, God, you call us to live as one family.
Save us. so,
Who's this Lucy?
She's your brother's fiancee.
You'd think if Peter were getting married, he would've announced it in the Tribune.
We read the Sun Times.
Amen.
So, why did she sneak out this morning?
She has a job.
I like Mass better in Latin.
It's nicer when you don't know what they're saying.
Did you get the Bourbeau Estate?
Got it.
What about Downey's ?
Got it.
Himmelstein's?
Yeah.
Did you get Van Allan?
Himmelstein's took too long.
Aah, for Christ's sake, jack.
Stop swearing. Look, you're running the business now.
That's somethin' I'd like to talk to you about.
Talk about that later, okay?
Talk about it now. He can't kill you in church.
Will you please pipe down?
Hey, be nice, pally. We're in church.
You're disrupting the Mass.
Who made you the Pope?
Ox.
How did Joe Kelly get to be a lector? He takes marijuana.
Amen.
Hi, Lucy. Hi, Lucy.
Hi.
Aw, come on, you stupid wing nut!
Aw, your mother's...
Excuse me, do you live here?
Live here?
I own this place.
Oh, great. Um, well, then you would know the woman that lives in two-oh-one.
Know her? I'm dating her.
Very clean.
Kitty?
Kitty? Rich kitty?
Come here, meal time!
Kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty? Kitty kitty kitty kitty? Ps-ps-ps-ps-ps. Kitty?
Kitty? Food. kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Come here. Come here. Come on, honey. Where are you?
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Nice shot.
Oh, um, uh, I'll get you some ice.
I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting anybody.
Hey, how'd you get in here?
key.
Key? Oh, you stay here a lot, huh?
Oh, you know, feed the cat.
Peter doesn't have a cat.
Oh.
Hello. Hello, honey. Fluffy.
Hello, Fluffy.
You must be so hungry.
Are you gonna get that?
Oh, no, I'm, I'm gonna let the machine get it.
Hello?
It's...for you.
Hello.
Okay. Bye bye.
That was the hospital. They say it's customary for friends and family to come down and give blood.
Let's go together.
You know what? I think maybe we should take your truck.
Oh, no, we ought to take Peter's car.
Oh, okay.
You know where it's parked, don't you?
Oh, yeah, I, uh, yeah.
Hey, we'll have to get your picture for the mantel.
Of, of me?
No, Of you and Peter.
I'm, I'm not that photogenic.
I doubt that.
All right, now I want you to sit here and sip this, or you'll get woozy.
When did you start seeing Peter?
September seventeenth.
Three months. That's quick.
You have no idea.
That's fast. Th-that's f... That's rea... That's a fast engagement.
Miss!
I'm fine.
Wait, I'm not finished with you!
I got it. I got it. I got it.
What the hell has he got a TV for? He's in a coma, for Christ's sake.
Ox, shh! You know, he might hear you, you know.
Then get him a radio.
Maybe he'd like us to sing to him.
Maybe Lucy knows his favorite song.
"Puff, the Magic Dragon."
Oh, Dragon.
Huh?
Which one of the Three Stooges was Peter's favorite?
Curly.
Curly! Hah!
He's everybody's favorite.
Well, I like Shemp.
Favorite ice cream.
Baskin-Robbins.
Favorite baseball team.
Chicago.
Cubs or White Sox?
What the heck is going on?
Why are you asking her all these question?
Don't ask me. Ask her boyfriend.
That isn't very funny, you know. He's...
No, no, Not this boyfriend.
Joe Fusco.
Joe Junior?
Mm-hm, that's right. Mister Joe Fusco, Junior. He said that you were intimate.
Yeah, well he also said he invented aluminum foil. He's delusional.
He was very lucid when I talked to him.
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
Ma, are you okay?
Hm?
You see what you did?
What did I do?
You know, if she wanted to prove it she'd prove it.
Peter...h-has one testicle.
No way.
Way. About a month ago, there was an accident, and he was playing basketball,
and his friend had a pencil in his... back pocket.
Ooh.
Maybe, um....
Oh, no.
Well, somebody's gotta look.
Don't look at me.
No...
Yeah, maybe, uh...
Listen, it's not my, uh, uh....
Okay, I'm his mother.
Oh, Ma, Oooooh.
Well, look at the bright side.
He's got more room in his Jockey shorts.
# SCENE 6
Ma!
Who is it?
What gives?
You stood me up.
For what?
Our date.
What date?
To the Ice Capades! I had to eat your ticket.
I never said I would go on a date with you.
Yes, you did.
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did!
No, I didn't.
Did too!
Didn't!
Did!
Didn't!
Did!!
Didn't!
Who is it?
Lucy, it's Saul.
Oh, my God.
What are you, two-timin' Joe Junior?
I'm not two-timing. I never one-timed.
Hey, I'll fight the guy.
Hey! Get in the closet!
Not a word.
Nice panties.
Hey.
I like boxer shorts, but, uh, I'll try these if....
Sorry.
Have you got company?
No. TV.
It's on. Next door.
Um, do you, uh, want some coffee or tea or something?
No, no, not, nothing.
Lucy, there's something you should know.
What?
Well, the night you visited Peter, I was out side the door.
I know the truth.
Sorry. Sorry You know, you don't, you don't even have to
worry 'cause I'm gonna tell them everything.
Don't tell them a thing.
You remember the day you said you'd, you'd never do anything to hurt the family?
Yeah?
Well, since they met you, they figure they have Peter back.
Now, if you tell'em the truth, uh, you'll take him away again.
They need you, Lucy. Just like you need them.
Now, look, I know you're a good girl.
And I know you'll do the right thing.
I don't know.
Yeah. Yes, you will.
Oh, oh. Oh, by the way, how did you know about the Peter, with the one, uh...uh....
You know something? I don't wanna know.
Bye.
Oh, my God. What are you... What... What are you doing?
I slipped.
You're trying on my shoes?
No. When I fell, my foot went...like that, right into the shoe.
Who is it?!
It's me, Jack Callaghan.
Oh, my god, doesn't anybody use the phone anymore?
I do.
I'm not talkin' about nine hundred numbers.
Who told?!
Hi! So, more questions?
No, I have an engagement present for you.
Uh, you really shouldn't have.
I didn't. It's from my parents.
Ah.
It's furniture. You want me to bring it up?
Hey, was that...Saul I saw leaving?
What's that?
Cat.
Big cat.
Um, I th-, I think y-, I think you should, um, bring it to, uh, t... Bring it to Peter's apartment.
You don't know what it is.
Well, you know anything would look nicer in Peter's apartment.
You know what? I'll come with you.
Hm.
You know what? I think you parked too clo..... You know, I think you parked too close to
the other car.
Had to. We gotta unload the furniture.
Ready for your surprise?
Ta-da!
Oh, that is great. That is so great!
You like that?
Yeah. -Too bad.
Ox bought you the loveseat.
Ohh, I'm sorry.
Don't be. I made this.
This? No, you didn't.
Shocking, isn't it?
Can I sit in it?
Rock out.
My God, this is perfect. You should go into business or something.
Well, that gets tricky.
Oh, yeah, working with your dad and everything, right?
The business used to be called "Callaghan and
Sons" and then when peter went off to law school, it became "Callaghan and Son."
If I were to leave, it'd just be "Callaghan."
Let's take a second here and unlock the doors....
No, I got it. I got it.
Oh.
See?
Oh, this technique. It's a always very, very, very modern technique.
U-U-U-U-Uh, excuse me, uh sir.
What apartment?
Uh, fifty-seven G.
Well, sir, I'm sorry but guests have to be announced. You know?
Well, I'm with her.
I'm helping her.
So?
You don't know her?
No.
But I'm new here.
Oh, well, she's Peter Callaghan's fiancee in fifty-seven G.
O-o-hh! Oh, yeah.
They told me about her, sir.
She's scary.
Tell me about it.
Ooh.
Be careful.
Uh, maybe we should, uh, angle it a little bit.
Um...I think it's wedged.
Why don't you step back for a little bit? I'm gonna try an old trick.
What's, what's the trick?
Push it really hard.
Okay. Okay, okay, push.
I did.
Do you want me to help you...now?
All right, a little help would be good.
Okay.
Ready? One, two, three.
Oh!
I think the sofa should go right there.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
Look at this is idiot has blocked me in.
But I told you not to park that close.
Yeah. Aaahh. Hey, check the meter. See what time.
Um, it's six o'clock. They can pretty much stay here all night if they wanted to.
All right, huh?
Um, good night.
You just gonna leave me here with the truck?
Basically. Yeah.
Well, maybe I ought to walk you back.
Well, what for?
For protection.
Oh, no, I'm fine.
I'm, I'm okay.
For me. I don't wanna be here by myself.
This is Chicago.
# SCENE 7
You look cold.
Hm?
You look... cold.
Hm? What... Probably because I am cold.
How about you?
This jacket's reversible.
I'm wearin' the warm side now.
Oh, I see.
You need a better coat.
This was my dad's.
Oh, then he's probably freezing.
He passed away.
Sorry.
It's not your fault. He passed away last year. I don't even remember my mom.
Well, what was he like?
He was a lot like me.
Dark hair, flat chest.
Well, what do you remember most about him?
Oh, that! Okay.
Um, well...he liked maps.
Yeah, I live by maps.
My truck's filled with'em. Hm.
He used to hear of a place on the T. V....
Well would pull out the atlas, we'd find where it was, and we'd route out this, like, little
way to get there.
If there were one place in the world where you'd go, where...
Florence.
Italy.
Ooh, I haven't delivered any furniture to Florence yet, but I'm told it's nice.
Yeah.
I take it you've never been there.
Well, you know the El doesn't exactly make it all the way to Florence.
So, you know.... Oh, but I do have my passport.
You have your passport?
Yes, I do.
with you?
Yeah. Well, just in case I need to quickly leave the country you need to....
That's perfect. Great.
Oh, you're right, you're not very photogenic at all.
Just joking. There aren't any stamps in that.
Yeah, well, I haven't gone anywhere yet.
But, you know, I'm planning a trip to Florence really soon, so, you know, I'll go.
That'll make your dad very proud.
Yeah. You know, in a very small way, you kind of remind me of him a little bit.
I see. So he was a classy guy, always a gentleman a working man....
Who just stepped in doggy poopy.
Ohh.
# SCENE 8
That's classy.
All right, tell me more.
Where did you grow up?
God, you've just become Mister Chatty this evening.
The fact of the matter is, I'm about to start shivering, and making conversation keeps
my face from freezing.
Thank you. I had, um, I had a good time.
Oh.
Yeah.
It's slippery here. Come on.
We got this far.
I'll take you the rest of the way.
Okay. Well, you gotta watch out a little icy.
So, um, you gonna go see Peter tomorrow?
Whoa. Whoop! Whoa! Wow.
All right.
Come on this isn't...
Do not take me with you.
No, it's all right.
It's not too bad.
You got it?
Oh, this is this is, this is big.
Here we go.
Okay.
All right?
Yeah.
I think we're all right now.
Okay?
This way?
This way.
Okay. Ow! Oh!
What was that?
Was that my pants or my muscles?
Oh, give me your hand.
Give me your hand.
Oh, man. Do you have an extra pair of pants in your apartment?
If you fit into my pants, I will kill myself.
You don't have to follow me.
No, you're blocking the wind.
I'll wait till you get inside.
well, good night.
Night.
So I'll see you when I see you?
Yeah.
All right, Lucy, it's either me or him!
Him.
You don't have to answer right away.
I'm having an affair.
I like Jack.
Who's Jack?
Peter's brother.
So?
So he thinks I'm engaged.
To who?
To Peter.
Lucy I really don't have time for this.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
You have to tell me what to do.
Tell the truth!
If I tell Jack that I lied to his family, he will never speak to me again.
And, and, and Ox and Midge and Mary and, and, and Saul.
Saul? Who's Saul?
He's the next door neighbor.
But you know what?
Actually, he knows.
Lucy, you're born into a family.
You do not join them like you do the Marines.
You have to tell me what to do.
Pull the plug.
You are sick.
I'm sick?
You're cheating on a vegetable.
Down and dirty.
Are you gonna fold?
You're not gonna fold?
Ooh, he is staying in with a pair. Very impressive.
Very bold. Confident.
Full house.
You are unlucky at cards.
But lucky in love.
Remember in, like, uh, fifth or sixth grade, I was startin' to get really good at poker and,
uh, goin' home with lots of lunch money? I got to know the principal's office really well.
He always used to say to me, "How come you can't be more like your brother, Peter?"
Well, you know what?
I was all right with that.
I had no problems with that because I was proud of you.
And I was never envious of anything that you had.
Until now.
I'll cut the deck.
High card gets Lucy.
All right, we'll go best out of three.
So, Lucy, have you and Peter decided where you're gonna go on your honeymoon? Hm?
I went to Cuba.
Ricky Ricardo was Cuban.
Didn't Peter look great today?
Aw, that kid.
You know, he should've been an actor.
He's tall.
All the great ones were tall.
Lucy?
Do you think you can find me a nice girl for jack?
Oh, Mom. come on.
Well, I-I-I-I really don't know Jack's type, so I am not one to, um....
I like blondes. Chubby ones.
Alan Ladd wasn't tall.
Marshal Dillon was six foot five.
Oh.
Well, we all know who Lucy's type is.
Mmm.
These mashed potatoes are so creamy.
You like brunettes.
I could never make a good pot roast.
You need good beef.
Argentina has great beef.
Beef and Nazis.
John Wayne was tall.
Dustin Hoffman was five-six.
Would you wanna see Dustin Hoffman save the Alamo?
These mashed potatoes are so creamy.
Spain has good beef.
Mary mashed'em.
Caesar romero was tall.
Caesar Romero was not Spanish.
I didn't say Caesar Romero was Spanish.
Well, what did you say?
I said Caesar Romero was tall.
We all know he's tall.
Well, that's what I said.
Caesar Romero is tall.
That's all I said.
So if you need any help with history, don't call me.
Now remember,honey, if you're free for New Year's, we wanna see you.
Thank you very much.
I had a great time.
Yeah. Us, too.
Thanks for coming.
Bye.
Bye bye, Lucy.
Bye bye. Good night.
Hey, look, you guys. You're under the mistletoe. Ooo-oo.
Kiss her then.
Yeah.
It's mistletoe.
It's tradition.
It's Christmas.
Oh, come on, idiot, kiss her.
There you go.
Oh, yeah.
Good night. Bye.
Good night
Come on, Mary, we're both on dish detail tonight.
Oh, Ma!
Let's go.
Regular fare.
One token, please.
Oh, my God, Mary, what are you doing here?
Hi. Do you guys wanna-- You wanna come through?
We can?
Yeah, absolutely.
Come on in.
Hi!
Hi.....
Hey, who's this?
I'm Mary. This is Beth.
Hi.
Um, Mary's, Mary's my, um...uh...
Lucy's going to marry my brother, Peter.
What?!
Luch you're getting married?
Well, it hasn't really been announced. S-so it's a little awkward for me to say anything.
And, um...train. It's here.
Train. Okay, uh, I'll see you later. Okay.
Thank you for coming.
It's nice to meet you, Beth.
Girl, are you pregnant?
Yes, I'm pregnant, Celeste.
Lucy, you're not tellin' me what's going on.
You're not givin' me details.
Details. What's going on?
Okay, Celeste.
Celeste, you have to have sex in order to be pregnant.
But I thought you were engaged.
Well, we're t-- We're waiting.
Waiting?
# SCENE 9
Peter? Hi, it's Ashley. Is-Is this machine working? Look, I'm back in Chicago and, uh,
I'm kind of shocked that you haven't called me back. Look, I really would, uh, like to
hear from you, and I'd like to see my cat. Call me.
New Year's Eve hasn't been the same since Guy Lombardo died.
I love a clarinet.
You know, nobody plays the clarinet anymore.
Guy Lombardo didn't play the clarinet.
I didn't say Guy Lombardo played the clarinet.
You know, your Benny Goodman, he could play the licorice stick. Hey. pop,
We got the Van allan Estate.
Hey, way to go! Attaboy!
Ohh. That's great.
That's great.
Hey, everybody?
Lucy's pregnant.
How did you find out? What do you mean she's pregnant?
How do you know?
Well, I.. ha... that's what Beth said....
Jack, do y-- Jack?
Do you know anything about this?
Go up to your room.
Who is it?
Joe Junior.
I'm not here.
I know that trick.
Hey, my old man's got a set of keys.
That is illegal and you know it, Joey.
Tada!
Ah-h.
I told 'em to gimme the same ones they use in the winner's circle at Arlington.
They're beautiful.
I can't accept them.
I could move in here.
I bet you Pop'd knock fifty bucks off the rent.
I have six months left to live.
Ah, you're just tryin' to make me feel better.
It's that other guy, isn't it?
What do you mean?
I seen the way you look at him.
What?
How do I, how do I look at him?
Like you just seen your first Trans-Am.
Aw, here, take'em.
You can lay'em on my coffin.
Thank you.
Are you wearin' the black bra?
I love black underwears.
Jack!
Hi.
What are you doing here?
Um...I.... You're goin' to a party.
Yeah, my friend, Celeste, is having a party tonight.
Great. Hey, I'll drive you.
Oh, you know what?
It's really not that far.
It's it's fine. Um....
No, no, no, come on, come on.
Get in.
Okay, but it's, it's really not that far.
I move a lot of things with this truck.
So, is, um, everything okay?
Why, why, wouldn't it be okay?
You're just acting really weird.
No, no, I'm not being weird.
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not being weird.
So, what about Peter?
What about Peter?
Peter is going to have a lot to deal with when he wakes up.
Lucy! Hi!
Hi! Hi, how are you?
How are you? Oh, come on.
come here! Hey everybody, Lucy and her fiance are here!
Lucy! Hey, how's it goin?
Jerry, you know Peter, right?
Thank you, Hi!
Take his coat, Cindy.
Oh. Lucy, is that, is that...
Peter?
I gotta talk to you!
Well, jeez, he looks good.
That's not Peter, that's Jack.
Uh, who's Jack again?
Peter's brother.
Peter's the guy who's in the coma?
Yeah.
So then why did you bring Jack?
I didn't bring Jack.
He followed me here.
So Jack's the fiance?
No, Peter.
Peter doesn't even know you exist.
I know.
So Jack is Peter?
Yeah.
Lucy
Yeah?
They have doctors for this kind of thing!
Hey, uh... That's spiked.
Thank God.
You shouldn't have any.
Why not?
Because it's not good for the baby!
Wait a minute, will ya?
Here. Watch out. Watch out.
This whole evening did not work out well at all, and, uh....
Oh, and I'm supposed to share some responsibility in that?
No, no-- Would you slow down a little bit? Look it was just a misunderstanding and,
on top of the Joe Junior thing--
Excuse me?
It's nothing.
No, no, no, there's no nothing now. What Joe Junior thing?
The leaning thing.
The leaning thing.
Okay. Um...what do, what do you mean by the leaning th--
Because he gave me flowers?
And then you leaned.
And then I leaned.
Yeah.
Okay.
How did I lean when I leaned?
How were you leaning?
Yeah.
It was a lot different than hugging.
Hugging's very different.
Hugging, that involves arms and hands And leaning is whole bodies moving in, like this.
Leaning involves wanting... and accepting. Leaning.
Hey, Luce is this guy bothering you?
No, no.
Are you sure?
'Cause it looks like he's..leaning.
Thank you. See?
I'll be right over here if you need me.
Okay, thank you very much.
I know karate.
Okay, is-- Now, all right, what about the other thing?
The other thing?
Mm-hm.
The other misunderstanding?
Why did you think I was pregnant?
Well, Mary said that she had heard somethin' like that.
And you believed her?
I didn't have any reason not to believe her.
So the only reason your brother would wanna marry
someone like me is if I was pregnant, right?
No, no.
Mm.
Good night.
The fact is, you're not really Peter's type.
Yeah, Jack, all right.
Whose type am I?
Thank you.
Look it's a great idea, you and Peter.
It's just not obvious to the whole world, that's all.
You know what, Jack? I've had a really lousy Christmas, you've just managed to kill
my New Year's, If you come back on Easter, you can burn down my apartment.
He-ey, come on Lucy.
What do you want from me, Jack?
I want you not to be unhappy.
And what are you, the happiness guru, Jack?
Are you happy?
Because I don't remember you having had a conversation with your father.
I mean, you do wanna leave the business, don't you?
Is this just, like, another miscommunication that we are having here?
What do you know about my family?
Spending a week with them does not make you an expert.
Spending a lifetime with them hasn't made you one either.
Yeah, well I know that keeping the family happy gets complicated.
Would your father be happy knowing you're sitting in a token booth planning vacation
that you aren't taking?
No, he wouldn't. You're right.
But you have no idea what it's like to be alone.
Hey, you have Peter.
I don't have anybody.
Good night.
Happy New Year.
#SCENE 10
Ox, they called me and told me to get down here.
What happened?
He's awake!
Boy,will he be glad to see you.
Yeah.
Peter. Mm.
Peter.
Your family's here, Peter.
Wh-who are you?
My God. He's got amnesia.
Lacunar amnesia is a condition in which memory loss is localized and patchy
limited to isolated events.
Selective amnesia?
Okay, exactly.
Um, I'm sorry.
You I need to tell you something that is really important.
I-I was never....
Pregnant?
huh?
We know. Jack called us.
Jack.
Hey, so, he's come out of it huh?
Oh, I'm so glad you're here, honey.
Excuse me, Doctor?
He's up again.
All right, let's go.
Jack.
Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
Now, now, now, listen,
let me handle it.
I'm too old a friend and too old a person for them to kill.
I'll take care of it, all right?
Okay. Okay.
And I'll do it right now.
Come on, let's go.
I'm right behind you.
How you feelin', champ?
I don't know.
Hey remember her?
Should I?
Look closely.
She looks a little familiar.
Why?
I think it's coming back.
I think so.
what's coming back?
Tell me. tell me what?
Peter you have amnesia.
I do?
Peter, you're engaged.
To who?
To Lucy.
Lucy.
Who's Lucy?
You don't remember, do you?
Excuse me.
Got some Jell-O for you today.
Do I like Jell-O?
Yumm...
I think he's had enough excitement for one evening.
Let's all go home.
Hang in there champ.
Good night, honey.
Mmm.
Good night, Mom.
Ooh, it's so good to see you.
Mom.
He looks so good, you know.
He's gonna be fine.
I think he looked wonderful.
All right, well
Jack, you, too. Come on.
Let's go home.
Saul, where have you been?
What? I'm not allowed to go to the bathroom?
Saul!
I'm handling it!
I will tell them!
When? When?
On my golden anniversary?
Lucy, I'll tell'em.
You better tell'em.
I said I'd tell them.
'A-B-C-D-E-F-G'
Jack, you've been really great this week.
Yeah, like, uh, when I accused you of lying to everybody.
Or when I accused you of having a relationship with Joe Junior.
Or when I thought you were pregnant and I announced it to all your friends.
You've had a really busy week, this week, haven't you?
Look, Jack, I, um....
Starting tomorrow, uh, things are probably gonna be kind of different.
Yeah.
I just wanted you to know that you've become a... a really good friend.
Okay.
Good friend. Lucy.
Yeah?
I didn't mean, uh, what I said about you and Peter.
I think you two are gonna make a really terrific couple.
And, uh I'm really glad that you won't be alone anymore.
Good bye.
Bye.
# SCENE 11
Jack? Is that you?
Hey, Pop.
Brought you some doughnuts.
Oh, you're a savior.
You're mother's got me eatin' these fat-free bran muffins.
They taste like plywood.
Catching up?
Eh, it's been almost a week since I read the obituaries.
You know, we missed a lot of good stuff the day after Christmas.
Been a hell of a week, hasn't it?
Life is a pain in the ass.
I'll tell you.
You know you work hard, try to provide for the family, and then for one minute
everything's good.
Everyone's well, everyone's happy. In that one minute, you have peace.
Pop...this isn't that minute.
What do you mean?
You remember that rocking chair I made for Grandma?
Are you kidding me?
It's so fancy, she won't even sit in it.
This fancy chair, two months ago, I sold three just like it.
I've sold two dining tables.
I got orders for six more.
Well, it's a good side business.
This is not a side business.
This is...good business.
Wait a second.
You don't want my business?
No, I don't.
How long have you felt this way?
A long time.
Well why didn't you say something sooner?
I could've sold the whole damn thing to Uncle Eddy for twice its value.
I could've taken your mother on the cruise with Kathie Lee Gifford.
You're not mad at me?
Are you nuts? You are nuts.
You wanna make rocking chairs.
Oh, hey, Mrs. Fletcher finally went, huh?
Her dining room alone has got to be worth forty grand.
Yeah. Those McMurphy boys, they were movin' in before the deed was done.
That's their problem.
They're too pushy.
They're very pushy, aren't they?
We'll call them next week.
You call'em next week.
That's right,
I'll call them next week.
Do I get a doughnut?
Uh, I'm sorry.
Twenty-two, ten forty eighth grade locker combination.
Birth date: three eleven fifty-nine.
You have to remember Lucy.
Social Security number: one-four-four, six-oh-six-eight-nin-four.
You love her. You just...don't remember.
Three point seven three grade point average, North western University.
Can I talk to Peter alone?
Everything okay, Saul?
Senior class president nineteen eighty-one.
I just wanna talk to my godson.
Let me take that for you.
Thanks, Mom.
We'll be back. Okay.
We'll see you later, honey.
You sure , Saul ?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
See you son.
See you, Dad.
Peter, I've known you since you were born.
I've been to every major event in your life from Cub Scouts to...
well, to the day you discovered hair on your schmeckel.
You've got a good education.
You're very popular with all those friends of yours.
You make a nice living.
And everybody knows you're a good-looking kid.
But, Peter you're a putz.
Excuse me?
Now, look, I'm your godfather.
I mean, I love you.
I couldn't love you any more if you were my own son.
But the fact of the matter is you're well, you're a putz.
Is there a point to this?
Lucy. Peter, there's somethin'.. you have to know about her.
You see, she, well, uh...she's....You know,....
She's not only your fiancee, she's your guardian angel.
Yeah!
Peter, she saved your life!
Now, she's comin' to see you today and I want you to do yourself a favor.
I want you to look deeply into her eyes and listen with the heart of a man who has just
been given a second chance at life.
And after two minutes, if you're not madly in love with her,
Why, tell her you wanna break up.
And you can go back to being a putz.
But if in the two minutes, you see what the rest of us only took seconds to see,
you will propose to her for the second time, and marry her before she
has a chance to escape.
Uh, before she comes, take a little time and think about what an old putz just told you.
All right?
You know, if I was forty years younger, I'd marry her myself.
That is, if she'd convert.
Hey, that's a joke.
I know it.
# SCENE 12
Lucy!
Hi. Hi.
Um...I came to bring you back your things.
Would you like a sandwich?
No, no, I'm okay. Thanks.
Can I get you anything?
I wish I had my own clothes.
Well, I like your, um, blue pin-stripe.
Double-breasted?
Yeah.
Ah, that's my favorite, too.
Really?
Yeah.
Please sit down.
I-I saw a picture of you, uh, when you saved the three squirrels.
Oh, They never call, they never write.
That was a long time ago.
Yeah, I guess we...we don't get to do many heroic things as an adult you know.
Oh, that's for sure.
You do though!
Oh, no, jumping in front of that train was unusual.
I don't think I've done anything truly heroic in my whole life.
I chased a purse snatcher once.
Well, that's something.
I pretended to pull a hamstring.
Well, most guys probably wouldn't've chased after him in the first place.
I mean, I work at the El.
Believe me, I know.
You give up your seat every day in the train.
Well.... But that's not heroic.
It is to the person who sits in it.
And you always gave me something to look forward to every day, so....
You know, you do remind me of someone.
It's probably you.
Uh, uh, uh, ma'am.
Excuse me! E-excuse me, ma'am.
Uh, w-what apartment?
You're new.
Yes, ma'am. What apartment?
I'm going to Peter Callaghan's apartment.
A-,a-, and your name, please?
Ashley Bartlett Bacon.
I am Peter's fiancee.
You're not his fiancee.
Huh?
Huh?
Hey, lookin' good!
Yeah, well, they're movin' me to the second floor.
Great.
Would you mind if I drove?
Uh, no problem.
Uh, see you by the elevators.
All right.
Okay.
Oop. Here we go.
Oh, uh, it's a little drafty.
Here, I brought you some contraband.
Chocolate peanut butter.
Thanks. Oh. Hey, Lucy's pretty terrific, isn't she?
Oh, yeah.
We're engaged, you know.
Yeah, I heard that.
Mm. Now this, I remember.
Everything is better.
Everything looks better, feels better.
Even this chocolate peanut butter tastes better.
Good. It's fudge mint.
Whatever. I'm reborn.
If you were a priest right now, I'd confess everything to you.
No, no, don't confess.
I'm tryin' to be positive right now. Just eat your ice cream.
I don't even know what my secretary sent Mom and Dad for Christmas.
It was a fruit basket.
Now, look, I don't wanna get into this.
I've never been faithful to a woman.
I'm gonna leave.
Remember the squirrels?
Don't even say it.
First I knocked'em outta their nest with a rock.
Peter.
Then I saved'em.
Ugh. Did you say any of this to Lucy?
That was in the past.
I'm making a clean start with Lucy.
She is...she is...she....
What is she? She's....
I'd say that she gets under your skin as soon as you meet her.
I mean, she drives you so nuts you don't know whether to hug her or, or just really
arm wrestle her. She would go all the way to Europe just to get a stamp in her passport.
I don't know if that amounts to insanity or just being really, really...likeable.
No, that's not it.
But she's gotta be really special.
She's gotta be.
And I can spend the rest of my life finding out why.
I don't have to know now,
I don't have to know tomorrow, I...
I don't have to know in a year, or ten years.
I don't, I don't have to, I don't have to have all the answers today or....
Maybe someday I'll have a clue.
But it doesn't mean I d-,
I can't make a lifetime commitment.
Does this make any sense?
Not really.
But that's common after a head injury.
My shoes.
Oh, hi.
What'd they say?
Who?
The Callaghans.
A-Are they inside?
You missed'em.
Well, what was their reaction to the news?
I didn't tell'em yet.
What d-,what d-, what do you, what do you mean, Saul?
What a-, what a-, now what about Peter?
Well, I didn't tell him either.
I-- I--
What? Saul, you said you were gonna handle this!
I'll handle it.
This is handling it?
This is handling it. Listen...
Saul?
What?
You're fired.
Fired?
Sorry.
Pardon me.
Two, please.
Four, please.
You're welcome.
Ashley!
Scumbag.
You're engaged?
May I remind you that you proposed...to me?
You should know.
We broke up.
No, no, I was confused.
We stepped back.
You moved to Portugal.
Yes, well, well, I-I didn't think you were going to run out and marry the first bimbo
that you came across.
Lucy's not a bimbo.
Lucy?
Lucy who?
I don't remember.
Liar!
I don't remember proposing.
Well, I was in a coma.
I have amnesia.
Amnesia.
Oh, well, now that's rich.
All right fine.
I want my stuff back.
Fine.
Then I want my stuff back.
What stuff?
Your nose.
You can't take my nose back!
I paid for it.
Well, then, here!
You paid for these, too!
Well, keep'em...
I'm a changed man, Ashley.
Go ahead! Go ahead and marry her, you one-balled bastard!
Holy buckets, Peter.
Movin' on to greener pastures.
Yeah.
You got it, pal.
# SCENE 13
Lucy, they moved him.
They moved him? Where?
Downstairs.
Lucy!
What? oh....
Lucy.
Hi Peter.
Oh, God, you look really good.
Hi. I feel really good.
Um....
You know what? Facing death makes a man evaluate his life.
And I been thinkin' about mine and I haven't liked what I've seen.
I've seen a man who has courtside tickets to the Bulls, a lucrative investment
portfolio an apartment on la rue du Faubourg, Saint Honore..
Where?
Paris.
But I've also seen a man who has no one to trust no one to want to have a son with.
You were there when I needed someone the most.
You gave me a second chance at life.
Took a coma to wake me up.
My family loves you.
I might as well love you.
Lucy Eleanor Moderatz will you marry me?
Wanda. Wanda.
Are you all right?
Honey?
Your hair is lookin' very big tonight.
Why, thank you.
I love your new cologne.
Yeah, it's called "Paris Guy."
It's from France.
Mmm, nice.
How you doin'?
Hey, are you goin' to see Lucy?
Yeah.
She is the best-lookin' chick in this building
Hey!
But you are the best-lookin' chick on the third floor!
Joe Junior.
Phyllis.
Mel, this one?
This one?
I don't want any flowers from you! I am not wearing black underwear!
And I definitely do not wanna move in with you J....
Jack.
Well, I don't have any flowers.
I wouldn't mind seeing the black underwear, but under the circumstances,
I don't think we should move in together.
I thought you were Joe Junior.
I get that a lot.
Do you wanna come in?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Wow. So that's the wedding dress huh?
Hm?
The wedding dress.
It works good as a tie, too.
Yeah.
I just wanted to give you this before all the presents started to pile up.
I was droppin' off some furni- ture in Little Italy, I look in a window, and Florence.
Florence.
Florence.
Thank you.
It's really beautiful.
And I wanted to say that I think that Peter is a very lucky guy.
Thank you.
I had to say that because you're gonna be my sister-in-law.
Ha,ha,ha,ha.
I guess we'll be seein' a lot of each other then.
Hm
I better get goin'.
Yeah.
Hey, Jack?
Jack..
Yeah?
Can you give me any reason why I shouldn't marry your brother?
Oh. Um, I can't.
What's this?
It's a wedding invitation.
Wait a minute! This is your wedding invitation!
So?
Whom are we marring?
Jerry, Peter Callaghan.
The coma guy?!
Are you insane?
Yes, Jerry, I'm insane.
Everyday I go and I sit in a booth like a veal.
I, I work every holiday, I go home to a cat.
And now a rich and handsome man has asked me to marry him, and I have said yes.
Okay, okay, that makes me a raving, total lunatic!
The wedding is tomorrow, Lucy!
I know it's tomorrow Jerry.
But you know what?
I even wish it were yesterday!
because, you know what that would mean? That today that I would be on my honeymoon,
that I would finally have a stamp in my passport, and that it would say Italy on it!
What happened with the other guy?
He didn't want me.
Maybe she forgot.
A woman doesn't forget her wedding day.
Maybe she's stuck in traffic.
This isn't... This looks
Does this look ridiculous?
No. You look fine.
All right, all right.
Well, you got the rings?
Yeah, I got the rings.
What's the matter with you, Jack?
You suck.
I suck? Or the outfit sucks?
It's a toss-up.
What do you mean?
Ohhh.
She's kind of nervous.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join...
I object.
Oh, gee.
I-I didn't get to that part yet.
I would have to object, too.
What about you?
Oh, I'm thinking.
What the hell is going on?
I am in love with your son.
Uh, I know.
Not that one. that one.
Jack, what the hell did you do?
He didn't do anything.
He didn't do anything.
It was me. It was all me.
Um, Elsie, how're you doin'?
You doin' okay?
Um, do you remember that day at the hospital?
Well, of course you remember that day at the hospital.
Well, um, there was a little mix-up.
I saw Peter get pushed onto the tracks, and, uh, I saved his life.
But when I got to the hospital, they wouldn't let me see him.
So, um, the someone told the doctor that I was his fiancee.
Only, um, uh, it's not true.
I was never engaged to Peter.
Why didn't you say something?
Cause I didn't know how to tell you.
We never even met until that day on the tracks. And, um,
It's just, when we were in the hospital room everything happened so fast.
I couldn't tell you the truth.
And then, I didn't wanna tell you the truth because, um, the truth was that
I fell in love with you.
You fell in love with me?
No, N-, yes. All of you.
I went from being all alone to being a fiancee, a daughter a granddaughter,
a sister and a friend.
I might've saved your life on the tracks that day, but you know what?
You really saved mine.
You allowed me to be a part of your family.And I haven't had that in a really long time.
And I just didn't wanna let go of that.
So, even though it was just for a little while I will love them always.
I'm very sorry.
Oh, um, and I'm very sorry about your carpet.
What about my carpet?
Peter Callaghan is engaged to me!
I object to this wedding!
Get in line.
And I object to your objection.
Who's that?
Ashley's husband.
You proposed to a married woman?!
Yes. And I was in a coma when my brother makes a play for my...sort of my fiancee.
Peter, how could you do this?
Better off together.
Then you could've turned it over and....
Exactly. Grandma, would you stop that with the camera?
Hold on! Hold on!
Hey, Luce, I just wanted to say that, uh, I'm sorry things didn't work out with...that guy.
And, um, you know, right now, you should get in touch with the child within and, um,
explore your feminine side. And, um, you know, don't start eatin' cookies...
and cake and stuff like that because you'll blow up like my Aunt Roberta, you know.
And you deserve better than that. So....
So, um... how are things goin' with, uh, Miss Third Floor?
She's.....
Oh, Joey, Joey.....
She said that I....
Do you have any cookies?
No, You know what?
You can try on some of my shoes.
Yeah. okay.
All right
Hey. Mm?
Last day, huh?
Yeah. Hm.
Ah, we're gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you.
Oh, we'll see each other.
You better.
Of course.
All right?
Nn-nn.
Good-bye. See you.
Lucy!
I need to ask you a question.
Get down on your knee.
It's more romantic.
He's proposing. Let him do it!
I am letting him do it!
Can I come in there, please?
I can't.
Not without a token.
You knew it?
I didn't know that!
I never knew.
When did you say...When is it?
Marry me?
Yeah. I love you.
I love you back.
I'm so happy.
So, I had planned to marry Peter, but I married Jack instead.
Thank goodness my father was right. Life doesn't always turn out the way you plan.
But Jack, Jack gave me the perfect gift a stamp in my passport.
He took me to Florence for our honeymoon.
I guess you might say, he gave me the world.
Peter once asked me when it was that I fell in love with Jack.
And I told him, it was while you were sleeping.